Search 0 My file
Back
Daily Ancestor · free form

Questions to ask your relatives

A printable list of family history questions for Thanksgiving and Christmas visits, written to draw out the names, dates and places that lead you to records.

Holiday gatherings are often the one time a year when the oldest people in the family sit at the same table as everyone else. A few good questions can bring out stories you have never heard, and the names, towns and dates hidden in them are what you will later look for in census pages, marriage records and church books.

You do not need to ask everything. Pick one or two groups, start with easy memories, and let the conversation wander. Some questions touch on loss, divorce or war; ask those gently, in private if you can, and let them pass if someone would rather not talk about it. When someone mentions a name, a street or a year, write it down and ask one more question about it.

Childhood and home

  1. Where were you born, and did your family say why there?
  2. What was the address or street of the first home you remember?
  3. Who lived in the house with you when you were small?
  4. Which church did your family attend, and in what town?
  5. Did your family ever move when you were young? From where to where, and about what year?
  6. Who were your nearest neighbors, and were any of them relatives?

Parents and grandparents

  1. What were your parents' full names, including your mother's maiden name?
  2. Where did your grandparents live when you were small?
  3. What did your parents and grandparents do for a living?
  4. Do you know where and when your parents married?
  5. When and where did your grandparents die, and where are they buried?
  6. Did any grandparent or great-grandparent live with your family?
  7. Which older relatives did you visit, and where did they live?

Names and nicknames

  1. Who were you named after?
  2. Did anyone in the family go by a nickname or a middle name instead of a first name?
  3. Were names ever spelled differently, or changed, and do you know why?
  4. Which first names were passed down in the family, and who carried them?
  5. Did any relatives use a different name at work, in church or in the old country?

School

  1. Which schools did you attend, and in what towns?
  2. What years did you start and finish school?
  3. Did your parents go to school, and how far did they go?
  4. Do you remember a teacher's name or a classmate who was also a cousin?
  5. Are there any yearbooks, report cards or diplomas still in the family?

Work

  1. What was your first paying job, and who was your employer?
  2. Did you belong to a union, a lodge or a trade association? Which one, and in what town?
  3. Did the family run a farm, a shop or a business? Where was it?
  4. What jobs did your father and mother hold, and for which companies?
  5. Did anyone in the family work for the railroad, a mine, a mill or the government?
  6. Did anyone move to another town or state for work? When?

Military service

  1. Did you or anyone in the family serve in the military? In which branch?
  2. Were they drafted, or did they volunteer, and about what year?
  3. Where did they train and where did they serve?
  4. Did anyone receive a military pension or a medal, or is anyone buried in a national cemetery? Who, and where?
  5. Are there any discharge papers, letters home or photographs in uniform?
  6. Did anyone join a veterans' group, such as the American Legion or the VFW?

Moving and immigration

  1. Which side of the family came to this country, and from what town or region?
  2. About what year did they arrive, and through which port?
  3. Did they ever become citizens? Do you remember about when?
  4. Who came first, and who followed later?
  5. Did the family keep any letters, passports or papers from the old country?
  6. Where did they settle first, and why there?

Marriage and family

  1. Where and when did you marry, and who performed the ceremony?
  2. How did you meet your spouse, and where was their family from?
  3. If you feel comfortable saying, were any relatives married more than once? Do you remember the other spouse's name?
  4. Were there babies or children in the family who died young? Do you remember their names, or where they are buried?
  5. Who were your godparents, and who stood as witnesses at your wedding?
  6. Is there a family Bible, a baby book or a wedding album?

Holidays and food

  1. Where did the family gather for holidays when you were young, and at whose house?
  2. Which relatives always came, and which ones traveled far?
  3. What dish did your mother or grandmother always make, and where did the recipe come from?
  4. Were there any holiday customs from the old country?
  5. Do you remember a holiday when the whole family was together? About what year was it, and who was there?

Photos and heirlooms

  1. Who is in this photo, and about when and where was it taken?
  2. Who owned this object before you, and how did it come to you?
  3. Are there any old letters, postcards or diaries in a closet or attic?
  4. Is there a family tree, a funeral card or an obituary someone saved?
  5. Who else in the family might have old photos or papers?

Tips

  • Ask before you record, then start the recording by saying the date, the place and the names of everyone present. A phone is enough.
  • Ask open questions that invite a story, like "Tell me about..." or "What do you remember about...". Let the person finish without interrupting, and save follow-up questions for the pause.
  • Bring a few old photographs and label them together. Write names, places and rough years on a separate note or in pencil on the back, never in ink on the image.
  • Note who said what and when. Two relatives may remember the same event differently, and both versions are worth keeping as clues.
  • Keep it to about an hour. A short chat at the table is better than a long session that tires everyone out.
  • Afterward, check each name, date and place against records such as the census, marriage and death records, and city directories. Family memory is the starting point, not the proof.

Sources: Preserving Family Stories (Library of Congress); Sample Interview Questions, Veterans History Project (Library of Congress); Oral Histories, Family History for Kids (Library of Congress Research Guides)

Free from dailyancestor.com/printables. Copy and share freely.